the 'downsides to pretty privilege' aren't real

it's just garden-variety misogyny

‘Pretty privilege’ has become a bit of a buzzword online. Its meaning is fairly self-explanatory: there are certain advantages that come along with being conventionally attractive. This is true. Attractive people are thought to be more trustworthy, more intelligent and better leaders than unattractive people. They are more likely to get interviews, jobs, promotions and earn higher wages. They are less likely to be arrested and convicted and more likely to receive a less severe sentence.

Off the back of the discussion of pretty privilege, some women have started a conversation about ‘the downsides to pretty privilege,’ saying that beautiful women aren’t treated well by men: they are harassed, assaulted, not taken seriously and assumed to be less capable. As vampylez on tiktok put it, ‘And how do you think ugly women are treated by men?’

Attractive men also benefit from pretty privilege. And all women are impacted by misogyny. Not being taken seriously or being assumed to lack knowledge or skill are common problems for women in the workplace. Women of all appearances suffer assault and harassment from men. In 2022, it was found that ‘97% of women in the UK aged 18-24 have been sexually harassed.’ In fact, pretty privilege even applies when reporting sexual harassment—a study led by the University of Washington found that, ‘Women who are young, “conventionally attractive” and appear and act feminine are more likely to be believed when making accusations of sexual harassment.’

Even just definitionally, ‘pretty privilege’ refers to the advantages that come with being pretty. There may well be downsides to being pretty, but those aren’t downsides to having pretty privilege.

I think perpetuating the idea that being pretty leads to increased harassment and assault can only be dangerous. Mistaking pervasive and ubiquitous misogyny for the downsides to pretty privilege is insidious because, hidden under what is presented as a statement of fact, is the hint that the misogyny is a compliment.

‘I get catcalled because I’m pretty’ isn’t a million miles away from ‘He’s only catcalling you because he thinks you’re pretty. Take it as a compliment.’

‘I turned him down but he won’t leave me alone because I’m pretty’ isn’t a million miles away from ‘He just keeps trying because he thinks you’re really pretty.’

‘I said no but he wouldn’t stop because I’m pretty’ isn’t a million miles away from ‘I couldn’t stop because you’re so pretty.’

No one is harassed or assaulted because they are so beautiful the perpetrator ‘couldn’t help himself’ and reinforcing that myth in videos posted to hundreds, thousands or millions of viewers won’t help dispel it.

Under many, many online videos in which a woman is talking about the prevalence of rape, you will be able to find multiple comments along the lines of ‘that would never happen to you’ or ‘you don’t have to worry about that.’ What they are saying is that the woman making the video will never be raped because she’s not pretty enough. Of course we know that’s ridiculous. But it makes me feel uneasy to see this harmful myth perpetuated in any way.

I think we should be wary of any messaging that dilutes the realities of misogyny and distracts from the fact that it is a widespread societal problem that impacts all women. Instead, we should be reinforcing that women don’t invite misogyny, harassment or assault by how they dress, how they act or how they look.